Sunday, 30 June 2013

OMG I PEED IN MY PANTS

HEY YOU..YES YOU WITH CUTE FACE IM TALKING TO YOU
Have you ever been an idiot and held your pee in waiting for a specific time to pee. And then you get the strong urge to pee and there was no bathroom in sight and so you feel like your going to explode with piss. Oh boy did that happen to me today.

Well i was walking home from school and i had been holding my pee in the whole day, because every time i left the classroom for a bathroom break, i ended up going for a tour around the bloody whole school. So i'am walking home and i decide not to catch the bus because it was a beautiful day, the sky was blue and the fucking birds were  singing and shit like that. So halfway home i really needed to pee, with every step i took i felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode any second. All of a sudden out of the corner of my eye i see a beautiful, luscious green bush... i'am soooo tempted to go and squat behind the bush and empty the tank...but i dont, because its after school traffic and there's kids everyfuckingwere. So i start running home faster then Usain Bolt.

I burst through my kitchen door like the fucking SWAT team. By now my legs are crossed together so tight i cant move, so i start hopping to the bathroom like a fucking retard. I get to the bathroom door and i twist it....door doesn't open... i twist again and it still doesnt open, Then i hear a small voice " Somebody is in here" and it was my fucking little brother. I Scream and start bouncing up and down while shouting for him to hurry the fuck up. Finally after what feels like forever he flushes the toilet and opens the door. He had the audacity to continue standing in the doorway completely oblivious to my situation and say "Guess what happened to me at school today"... Without thinking i grab his small face in my hand and roughly pushed him aside while screaming "get the fuck out of my way". I dove for the toilet seat and pulled my pants down ready to release the Kraken. I feel the great feeling of releasing the piss that was about to kill me. I open my eyes to find myself squatting just above the toilet seat and whatever i was wearing drenched in piss. I look up at hearing my little brother shout "eeeeeew everybody Elizabeth just peed her pants"

You see this wouldn't have been a problem if i was a guy, I would have just whipped my hose out and sprayed a random tree. If this or something similar has happened to you comment in the comment section below and subscribe to me WHY because BITCH IM AWESOME

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